D-Moms and D-Dads are the parents of a person with diabetes… but I think the definition is a little more narrow, at least for me personally.
I got thinking about this when I read the article on Diabetes Mine about the Miss Manners situation and how her son has type 1 diabetes. Here’s the article. (This post is NOT commentary on this article or the situation, just what got my brain churning.)
Mike’s a great writer and I enjoy reading his articles, but I raised an eyebrow when he called Judith Martin a “D-Mom” after I found out her son, Nick, was diagnosed with Type 1 in his 20s. It’s not my place to judge the impact of diabetes on another family, but as someone who was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in my 20s (22 to be exact), I would not call or consider my mom a D-Mom.
When I think of a D-Parent, I don’t think of people like my mom, whose adult child was diagnosed with type 1. I think of parents who gave the person with diabetes their first shot, the parents who count(ed) carbs for their child, the ones who wake (or woke) up in the middle of the nights to test blood sugar. I think of the parents who bear the brunt (or bore the brunt) of diabetes management, who dealt with d-guilt instead of their child, who battle misconceptions about the condition and who answered the stupid questions of an uninformed society (“Did you give your kid too much sugar and now they have diabetes?)
When I think of a D-parent, I don’t think of my mom. My mom is the parent of a person with diabetes. My mom’s youngest child has diabetes.
My mom is not a D-Mom, she’s just my mom.
I did not live in her house with diabetes. She has never given me a shot. She has never checked my blood sugar. She has never counted my carbohydrates. And if she has dealt with stupid questions and misconceptions about my diabetes, she hasn’t told me about it.
Just because my mom isn’t a D-Mom, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t care about how diabetes impacts me. My mom may not be involved in my care, but she does care. I interviewed her a year and a half ago about it.
With all of that said, I feel that when a child with diabetes grows up, their parent does not cease being a D-Parent. I think once you’ve cared for all of the ins and outs of diabetes, you probably just can’t forget it.
If you were diagnosed in adulthood, do you consider your parents to be D-Moms and D-Dads?
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