I was wondering about something random on my drive home from work the other day and I thought, “I should call dad. He would know.” It took me a minute or two before I remembered that I can’t call my dad.
It’s been almost a year and a half since my dad lost his battle with cancer. Sometimes that seems like a long time but the other day, it felt like I could just pick up the phone and call him like nothing ever happened.
I keep the people that I call most often on my favorites menu on my phone and the number listed after Brad’s was my dad’s. Three months after dad died, I removed him from the favorites menu but couldn’t bring myself to delete his cell phone number. It took several more months before I could delete his number completely, even doing that brought me to tears.
Time may bring healing, but it’s a slow process. As more time passes, it’s easier to tell stories about my dad without feeling angry or tearing up.
Today would have been my father’s 52nd birthday.
I know just how you feel….I was the same with my mom….always talked to her on the way home from work….I miss her everyday and she has been gone 10 years. It never goes away, you just learn to handle it better 🙂
I don’t agree with the “time heals” theory. To me, it’s not that time heals the wound of losing a loved one. It’s just that grievance turns into more of an acceptance as life goes on and you learn to live with the sadness and heartache of missing someone. No one can truly understand the loss of losing a parent, especially those that are taken too young, unless they’ve been through it. My father will be gone 10 years this July and it doesn’t necessarily hurt any less, it’s just something that has become part of my life unfortunately. Sending you great big hugs, Rachel! And happy birthday to your Dad.
Sending you hugs, Rachel.
I can’t even begin to imagine how hard that is. Sending you big hugs.
Deleting the number from the cell phone — that really got me choked up. Lots of hugs headed your way today.
I still have his email in my email favorites and his number in my phone. I thought of him the other day and wanted to call him. It does take time. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I wanted to call him.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how hard this must be. Thinking of you.
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