Falling

There are a couple of days every month that I can 100% guarantee that I can’t influence my diabetes. I will be high, I will eat hardly any carbs, I will pump insulin in my system like there’s no tomorrow, I will stay high.

Stupid hormones.

Being high (read: having high blood sugar) at work it horrible. The stress headaches start. The attention span shrinks. The eyes fail to focus. Hot and cold stop existing as my body can’t figure out the temperature.

It’s the high moments during the few days a month, that cleaning my desk or doing simple tasks are the only things that can get done. Then out of the blue, my body stirs and realizes that it has insulin, it can use it. And just like that the down arrows of some sort appear and I’m falling.

Stupid hormones. Stupid pancreas.

You know those dreams where you’re falling then your body jerks awake? Well, it’s a little like that. Significant falls sometimes feel like lows which cues food cravings, open windows and a hawk-like watch on the plummeting numbers coupled with disappointment when the numbers aren’t actually low enough to eat yet.

These days are followed by persistent lows, dialed back basals and juice boxes on my desk.

Stupid hormones. Stupid pancreas. Stupid diabetes.

That’s part of why yesterday’s blog was about being thankful.

2 thoughts on “Falling

  1. Pingback: A Letter to 4 a.m. « probablyrachel

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