I would like to
rant vent about my peers for a moment… Let me start by saying, it is in no way our right to judge the life decisions of our peers, especially without examining our own decisions first.
I’m getting pretty sick and tired of all of the
crap commentary I’m reading from people in their 20s about getting married. I’m talking about the people who apparently think I was out of my mind for getting married soon after college.
Everyone in my age group (let’s say ages 20-25, I’m not going to cover a whole generation) are in totally different places in their lives. There’s everything from people who started working straight out of high school, to people working toward a degree and college grads with and without jobs then there are people in grad school. Some of us are married, some engaged, dating or single. Some are even parents. And we’re all about the same age.
I can understand that it’s tough to no longer have a mirrored life to your peers. For the first time, many of us are looking at a future that is not already planned for us. The education system and our parents had planned our lives up until a certain point. Now, we’re scattering to different lives. Mine includes a husband, a career and a home. No one seems to fault us 20-somethings for starting careers and moving out of our parents’ houses but people love to judge the relationship decisions.
After nearly three years of dating, Brad proposed to me. We spent almost two more years engaged and planning for our lives together. We waited until we had finished college to get married. There was no shotgun or citizenship involved. We planned this, we cultivated a relationship and we made choices. Getting married at 22 is not right for everyone, but it is right for some. Brad and I have been in a relationship longer than some longer-married couples have even known each other.
I would have preferred to marry Brad earlier and I joke with him that we could have sat together at graduation had we gotten married sooner (and my degree would have the same name on it that I am building my career with). But we made choices, we made plans, we weren’t rash or immature about anything. The majority of young newlyweds and nearlyweds that I know have similar situations.
Before you open your mouth and say that any of your peers are “too young to get married” take a second and evaluate what you’re really thinking. Some people get married too young, some people have kids before they’re ready, but unless you know the intimate details of their relationships, you can’t judge that for certain.
I believe that these judgmental statement usually come from jealousy or disappointment. Our lives don’t happen at the same time and there’s no reason to demean your “friends” and their choices because you wanted your lives to follow the same track. When young couples are planning their lives together, they want their friends to share in the joy, why is it so hard for people to be happy for someone who is traveling a different path?
This post was drafted quite some time ago and not published because I thought I might be seeing things that weren’t there. But over the past few months, I see that it’s not just me experiencing this issue. The average age for people to get married may be around 27, but it’s not a requirement that people wait until age 27 to get married.