My husband helps me be independent

Today is Brad’s birthday. I’m taking a slightly different approach to a birthday blog for him than normal and sharing about something I recently learned, which is: The longer I’m married, the more independent I become.

I discovered something when Brad was gone all last week on a business trip. I realized that between the time we got married and now, I’ve become so much more independent. But it’s not just independence that I’ve developed, it’s confidence, competence and comfort-ence. (Alliteration is my favorite.)

It’s not that Brad makes me have to be independent. I both want and need my husband in my life. I have identified that Brad has been a significant part of my personal development process. Brad, combined with normal progression through adulthood and  increased personal and professional responsibility, has helped me become better at being on my own. Continue reading

An “Unspecial” Birthday

Today is my wonderful husband’s birthday!

When asked what he wanted to do for is his birthday, if he was looking forward to it, or anything else birthday-related, he would say that this year is a really unspecial birthday because it’s not a milestone year.

I however beg to differ. Any reason to celebrate my husband is a special occasion! I’m happy to mark every year that the world is made better with him in it.

Happy “unspecial” birthday to a very special man!

Brad Takes the Reins (and Talks About Me)

I’m back to participating in the Blogger Men Tell All link up. I love having Brad contribute to the blog occasionally, and 5 questions are sufficient to get some input before he gets bored with it.

1. What is your favorite memory with your blogger?

It’s not really a fair question to ask for my favorite memory together. Every moment we’re together is my favorite… next question 🙂

2. What is her best quality?

Her patience. Dealing with me can be like dealing with a 7 and 70 year old within a five minute time span. One minute I may be whining about wanting dinner and the next minute I may be complaining about the kids in our front lawn. She’s always there for me and patient even though I can be very trying on patience.

3. What is something the two of you enjoy doing together? Continue reading

Thanksgiving Thoughts from My Husband

Last week, I was felled by a migraine. It started as just a headache while I was at the office but got progressively worse, by the time I got home, the nausea, light/sound/smell sensitivity had hit and I knew I was done for. I took a single Advil, put on sweatpants and laid down on the couch. I had let Brad know that my headache was now migraine. When he got home from work he came in quietly and kept the light off. Then he snuggled up on the couch with me and just held me.

Brad does a lot for me. He saved my life probably more than once. As I laid there waiting for the migraine to subside, I was thankful to have found and married such as wonderful man.

He’s not too bad to look at either 😉

I’ve been trying to get him to write a blog post for me occasionally, but he continues to decline. Then I found Samantha’s Blogger Men Tell All link up where she provides themed prompt questions and blogger husbands, fiances, boyfriends or male friends/relatives answer the questions. I sent this week’s set to Brad and he answered them below, my commentary will appear in [brackets] Continue reading

The Driver’s Seat

For a good chunk of my childhood, the family cars were: Dad’s truck and Mom’s van. But it never really mattered which vehicle we were in, if dad was going, dad was driving.

I never questioned this as a kid. When I was learning to drive, I asked my dad about it. I can’t remember his exact answer, but contributing factors included: his family’s dynamic, my mom’s driver/passenger personality and the fact that my father sometimes felt car sick in the passenger seat. I’d be willing to bet that most in my generation experienced the same parental dynamic, when together, dad drives.

I knew girls in college who would get in the passenger seat of their own cars to allow their boyfriends to drive. I wasn’t that type of girl. My car was mine. I bought it, I maintained it and I paid the insurance on it… I was going to drive it. It didn’t hurt that I drove stick-shift cars until my sophomore year of college and for the most part my peers didn’t know how and I wasn’t going to let them screw up my transmission trying to learn. During the entire time that Brad and I were dating, he only drove my car when I was teaching him how to drive stick shift.

In our marriage, there isn’t a “passenger spouse” and a “driver spouse.” There are two drivers. Brad and I tend to take the more fuel-efficient car when we go places… most recently that became my car, the Volt. When we get in my car to go somewhere, there’s typically no question who is going to drive. I know that Brad enjoys driving my car so sometimes I offer for him to drive.

So when we hopped in the car earlier this week for a quick Chipotle run, Brad decided to be a goof and ride in the backseat. Unbeknownst to me, he took a picture and posted to Facebook about riding in the back seat to go to Chipotle and that it was comfortable back there. Some of the comments it got made me scratch my head. Primarily: “Way to go Rachel!”

Way to go on what? On driving? On having a cool car? On properly placing my hands at 10 and 2 (which also received a comment)? On going out for Chipotle instead of cooking?

Then there was a comment from someone about enjoying it when he “lets” his wife drive.

When i read it, I said to Brad, “You don’t ‘let’ me drive. It’s ‘my’ car.”

I’m a woman with wheels. I drive places. I just happen to be married to a guy who occasionally likes to ride in the backseat.

Is it really that unusual?

Linking up with The Grits Blog.