At Christmastime we were visiting with my grandmother, who has Type 2, at her nursing home when it was almost time for dinner. One of the nurses came in to test her blood sugar and give her insulin for dinner. She asked my grandmother if she wanted us to leave. “Oh, it doesn’t bother me,” she responded. Grandma is a very laid-back lady. The nurse tested her blood sugar and recorded it, then asked if we would like to step out while she gave my grandmother a shot.
I kind of chuckled and said, “I have type 1 diabetes, if it doesn’t bother grandma, it doesn’t bother me.”
Let me tell you, the needle that she gave my grandmother her insulin with was huge!
We wrapped up our visit to let grandma get to her dinner, but on the way home I told Brad, “If anyone ever came at me with a needle that big for insulin, I would probably hurt them.” Honestly the needle looked as large as the syringes I use to fill my pods.
That got me thinking… what’s my life with diabetes going to look like when I’m old?
Right now I can’t imagine ever managing diabetes without my high-tech robot parts that make life much, much easier. I can’t imagine not being able to handle the day-in and day-out aspects of life with diabetes by myself. It’s days when I think about being a spunky senior citizen with an insulin pump that I’d like there to be a cure. Not having diabetes now would be fantastic too… but I know research and development take time.
There are many inspiring people who have lived with diabetes for decades and here I am complaining about living with it for almost two years. It’s kind of like syllabus day… knowing what will be expected of me in the future and wondering, can I really do that? When it comes to diabetes, I sometimes wonder how long I can keep it up and if I will get sick of fighting for my own health.
I have a blog draft saved about being utterly exhausted, not by caring for my diabetes but by having to deal with the loads of crap that come with insurance companies and red tape… and some concerns about the future of my medical care. I’ve been without my Dexcom since just before the start of June. I’ve had several severe lows already and some pretty infuriating highs that would never have happened if the company had approved my new system the first time around. I honestly feel like my insurance company is hurting me by taking so long to return decisions and forcing me through the appeals process. And the kicker is, they keep calling and wanting me to enroll in a “disease management” program that I have no interest in but won’t give me a valuable tool in managing my condition and being healthy. I’m willing to bet a lot that offering that program costs them much more than granting approvals to all their type 1 patients for CGMs would.
Anyway, today has been designated as “Check In” day for the diabetes blog community. The point is to encourage connecting and lets those who share their stories know that someone is reading them. I’ll be checking in on the blogs I read today.. I know I won’t get to many on a Monday, but I’ll keep checking in the rest of the week.