When consulting for my wisdom tooth extraction, the medical assistant asked me, “What’s your normal blood sugar?”

Wow.

The answer to that question varies. By. The. Second. For real.

If someone asked me, “What’s Brad’s normal blood sugar?” I could simply answer: 86. It almost always 86 whenever I test it. After a Dairy Queen dessert with 100 grams of pure sugar or a meal of grilled chicken and roasted asparagus, that number is usually the same. His pancreas works well.

I’ve seen days with readings of 34 and 253 in the same afternoon.

When I wake up, I see numbers ranging from 86 to 148. Sure, I could give you a “typical range” or an average for the last week, month, six months, or year (that’d be interesting) but they don’t convey a normal blood sugar reading.

There’s a book titled Normal is a Setting on Your Dryer. My body doesn’t have a “normal” setting. This word “normal” isn’t very descriptive. Life in general is not normal.

I think I gave her about ten situations and their typical ranges before she looked overwhelmed enough for me to stop.

I don’t make a habit of taking pictures of my numbers, especially not the high ones.

Thank your pancreas.