What do you consider to be a long period of time?
I’ve had this unconscious idea in my head that 10 years is a long time. We tend to measure things in 10s. When you hit that 10 years, you get to use the word “decade.”
Well today, it’s been a decade since Brad told me we were humans and we decided to be humans in a relationship. Ten years.
I remember in high school I had been dating a boy (not Brad) for five months and it seemed like a long time. Everyone thought it was a long time. So perhaps it’s a change in perspective.
As I think on it more and more, 10 years is a significant period of time but really, not all that long. I feel like just yesterday I was musing about five years of marriage, but that was in May… five months ago (exactly).
So, what’s it like to be with someone for 10 years?
I think the experience is different for everyone and can really depend on the stage in life when you got together.
Brad and I got to grow up together and go through a lot of the milestones together. We were awkward when we met, awkward when we fell in love and thankfully we’ve either grown out of some of the awkwardness or stopped caring about it. Some of the weirdest phases of my life, he went through with me, so I doubt I’ll ever get too weird for him.
Learning each other
After a significant period of time, you learn the other person. We’ve essentially spent 10 years studying each other. We know what the other likes and dislikes. It has become possible to perceive the small things that others can’t to read how the other is feeling.
Become truly honest
There’s no pretending or softening things. It’s comfortable to be honest. Not that people who are new to a relationship lie to each other, there are just things that often get let go in an effort to look a certain way to your partner or not to bother them.
Speaking of being comfortable together… it’s not just the emotion, it’s also physical. We don’t try to have some movie-quality snuggle routine, we choose to be however is most comfortable, even if it looks incredibly awkward.
… and of course love.
What’s the point of staying with someone for 10 years if you don’t love them?