Miles to Go

I know in my head that I’m lucky to have so many family members who want to see us, especially at the holidays. But sometimes, it’s overwhelming. Brad and I live an hour drive from our closest “local” family members and a 4 hour drive from the farthest. (The non-local family members are only a phone call or Facetime chat away.)

The problem is, we’re far enough that a trip take pre-planning but close enough not to skip the occasional year. (But we’re too far for certain people to come visit us, so we have to go to them.)

Last year, we traveled 1,000 miles in the course of one week for family events. That’s the allotted mileage for a single month on our lease used up in only a week. Parents want separate celebrations from grandparents/extended family and then there are other events including (but not limited to) work parties, friend parties/visits, choir concerts and church events. Throw in the various holiday errands and the miles, gasoline and stress add up.

What many don’t stop to think about when making plans to host a holiday event, is how much busier we are at the holidays. Brad and I have to try to split holidays somehow between our families and unfortunately I don’t think what we all pretend is a balance actually balances out for the families. Continue reading

Thanksgiving Thoughts from My Husband

Last week, I was felled by a migraine. It started as just a headache while I was at the office but got progressively worse, by the time I got home, the nausea, light/sound/smell sensitivity had hit and I knew I was done for. I took a single Advil, put on sweatpants and laid down on the couch. I had let Brad know that my headache was now migraine. When he got home from work he came in quietly and kept the light off. Then he snuggled up on the couch with me and just held me.

Brad does a lot for me. He saved my life probably more than once. As I laid there waiting for the migraine to subside, I was thankful to have found and married such as wonderful man.

He’s not too bad to look at either 😉

I’ve been trying to get him to write a blog post for me occasionally, but he continues to decline. Then I found Samantha’s Blogger Men Tell All link up where she provides themed prompt questions and blogger husbands, fiances, boyfriends or male friends/relatives answer the questions. I sent this week’s set to Brad and he answered them below, my commentary will appear in [brackets] Continue reading

The Driver’s Seat

For a good chunk of my childhood, the family cars were: Dad’s truck and Mom’s van. But it never really mattered which vehicle we were in, if dad was going, dad was driving.

I never questioned this as a kid. When I was learning to drive, I asked my dad about it. I can’t remember his exact answer, but contributing factors included: his family’s dynamic, my mom’s driver/passenger personality and the fact that my father sometimes felt car sick in the passenger seat. I’d be willing to bet that most in my generation experienced the same parental dynamic, when together, dad drives.

I knew girls in college who would get in the passenger seat of their own cars to allow their boyfriends to drive. I wasn’t that type of girl. My car was mine. I bought it, I maintained it and I paid the insurance on it… I was going to drive it. It didn’t hurt that I drove stick-shift cars until my sophomore year of college and for the most part my peers didn’t know how and I wasn’t going to let them screw up my transmission trying to learn. During the entire time that Brad and I were dating, he only drove my car when I was teaching him how to drive stick shift.

In our marriage, there isn’t a “passenger spouse” and a “driver spouse.” There are two drivers. Brad and I tend to take the more fuel-efficient car when we go places… most recently that became my car, the Volt. When we get in my car to go somewhere, there’s typically no question who is going to drive. I know that Brad enjoys driving my car so sometimes I offer for him to drive.

So when we hopped in the car earlier this week for a quick Chipotle run, Brad decided to be a goof and ride in the backseat. Unbeknownst to me, he took a picture and posted to Facebook about riding in the back seat to go to Chipotle and that it was comfortable back there. Some of the comments it got made me scratch my head. Primarily: “Way to go Rachel!”

Way to go on what? On driving? On having a cool car? On properly placing my hands at 10 and 2 (which also received a comment)? On going out for Chipotle instead of cooking?

Then there was a comment from someone about enjoying it when he “lets” his wife drive.

When i read it, I said to Brad, “You don’t ‘let’ me drive. It’s ‘my’ car.”

I’m a woman with wheels. I drive places. I just happen to be married to a guy who occasionally likes to ride in the backseat.

Is it really that unusual?

Linking up with The Grits Blog.

Isn’t that How Marriage Works?

I talk about my husband saving my life and people say, “You’re fortunate to have a husband who loves you so much.”

I blog about my husband having a birthday and people say, “He’s a lucky guy to have a wife like you.”

I discuss the trials my diabetes puts my husband through and people say, “It’s wonderful that you have a husband who cares about your health.”

I share about my husband’s Lasik surgery and people say, “You’re such a good wife for taking care of him.”

and on, and on, and on…

My question is this:

Isn’t that how marriage works? Continue reading

Summer Lovin’ Weekend Wrap Up

It’s officially summer! Is anyone else as excited about this fact as I am?

I’m posting my weekend wrap-up on Wednesday, which might be a blogging sin, but oh well! Over the weekend we celebrated the beginning of summer with a whole slew of newlyweds (married for 10 months, 1 1/2 months and 1 month) we were the old married folks in the room yard.

We grilled up the goodies that I mentioned in my post on Friday, except for the potatoes because the potatoes I bought had blight. (A really gross fungus that isn’t visible from the outside so cut open your potatoes dear readers and avoid the ick.) On Saturday it was the gathering of the K-Couples. All of our last names start with “K” now, we are all homeowners, T-Mobile customers and cat owners… we also all suck at Ladder Golf if we’re being honest.

Continue reading